3 Things I Learned During My Church Search
I recently joined a church! It was exciting, because it came after about a year of hoping for the right church to “fall in my lap”, so to speak. In reality, the process was long and challenging. It was filled with lots of prayer, Google searching, attending, moving on, getting frustrated, feeling uncertain, rinse and repeat before I ultimately ended up at the place where I knew God wanted me. I wanted to share a few things I learned along the way to encourage others who may find themselves in a similar situation.
- Have a plan and stick to it
When I first decided to start looking for a new church, I made the decision that I was first going to take a couple weeks off and rest myself before I started attending new churches. I knew I wasn’t emotionally or spiritually ready to just jump into a search. Also, as an introvert, the prospect of having to get out there and meet new people was terrifying as well, so the longer I could delay, the better. But I gave myself just two weeks to “rest” and then the search would start, and I stuck to that. As soon as my second rest Sunday was over, I started making a list of churches to visit the next Sunday. It was hard! After being so involved in my old church, having a couple Sundays to sleep in, laze about the house or work in the yard was tempting to extend into another week (and another week). But I knew if I continued after two weeks, I would start forming a habit that might be difficult to break. I wanted my body, my mind, and my heart to stay used to getting up and going to church. I was sure to have selected a church to attend before each Sunday so that I was prepared to get up that morning. I didn’t want to wait until the morning of when anything could become a distraction. I also got family and friends involved in my search, letting them know which church I planned to attend on various Sundays so that I could have someone checking in to see if I visited and chat on how the experience went.
- Have an idea of what you’re looking for
Up until that point, I had always joined a church with my parents, so this would be my first search on my own and I needed to have a better reason than, “You’re just supposed to be in church.” I knew God wanted me to be plugged into a community of other believers to with my spiritual growth (John 15:12; Proverbs 27:17, James 5:16), and because I didn’t have any other outlets in my life for that, church was going to be where community formed. This gave me a resolve to stick with the search no matter how long it took.
With that in mind, I started mentally making a list of things I’d like out of a church. The most fundamental things were that the Word of God was being preached soundly and honestly. Obviously, a church can put anything on their website, but I always checked out their webpage on core beliefs and values first to ensure there weren’t any red flags that were out of sync with Scripture. Visiting would help verify that. After that, things that were on my radar were music and worship, style of preaching, and getting plugged into other young professionals (which was strange thing for me since I was always more comfortable with people older than myself than people my own age). It was important to know what was important to me and what could be “sacrificed” if most everything else on my list was satisfied. I knew I was never going to find a perfect combination of all the things on my list, but I was hoping to get as close to that as possible. Which leads me to my last point…
- Let God guide your search – He should have the final say
While I had a lot of different things I was looking for, I constantly went to God because I would get tired with how long the process was taking, as well as to seek his guidance when it came time to determine best fit. This meant being open to the possibility that what He had for me and what I wanted could be different. There were a few churches that I parked myself at for three or more weeks because they were meeting most of my hopes and expectations. But as I would get excited and start to pray for God to give confirmation, something would happen to let me know that this wasn’t the place I was meant to be. It was disappointing and often frustrating when this happened, especially at churches where I was getting to know people and feeling like I could start plugging in more. But I had to remind myself that these little signs meant God was watching out for my search, and instead of being frustrated, I was encouraged to stick with the process and trust that He would guide me to the right spot (Romans 8:28).
And God really knew what He was doing. The church I am now at was one I had never seriously considered. My mother had actually suggested it at the beginning of my search, but I had taken it off my list because at the time they were going through a transition with an interim pastor and I didn’t want to start attending a church without a confirmed pastor leading. But around Christmas, life got busy and I hadn’t planned anything for Christmas Eve service. My mother suggested we go to this church since she had been attending a women’s Bible study there, so she knew some people. Since I didn’t have any plans, I joined her. It turned out they had recently brought in their new pastor a couple weeks before, so I got to hear him preach. It was a smaller church than I was used to and the style of service and demographics were a little different than what I had in mind. But the people were genuine in their welcome and desire to get to know me, and the preaching seriously hit on things that were going on in my life at the time, and continued to do so as I returned. As I kept coming back, I found myself surrounded by a community of people who truly cared about getting to know me and helping me come out of my shell and get to know them. I didn’t feel like an ‘other’ or outsider, but found myself able to connect easily with people, which as an introvert I’ve never felt capable of before. It was a church that was in a time of transition and growth, and provided the perfect opportunity for me to grow alongside it. There was also a big emphasis on discipleship that wasn’t on my list of things to look for but I realized was exactly what was needed for the stage of life I’m in right now. I thoughtfully considered and prayed about joining, and God confirmed in all the ways, through His Word, through the people in my life, and just through the peace I had in getting up on Sunday morning.
Since then, community has been building around me in ways I never thought would happen, and I’m plugging in and delving deeper into my walk with God – confirmation that I am where God has. The church search didn’t happen the way I thought it would, it took longer than I thought it would, and it ended somewhere I didn’t expect. But that let me know that God was in it. Had I not been resolved to stick with the search, to know why I was looking, and to be open to God changing my plans, I probably never would have ended up at my current church where I know God can use me and grow me. I encourage anyone in the church search process to keep God first in the process. The search can be short and sweet or long and challenging. Reminding yourself that God is in control will help keep you in the process, be open to any unexpected changes you encounter, and ultimately lead you to the church where He wants to plant you.
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